I will never forget the day I heard that awful word blurted out in front of me, and it physically hurt. I was out with my husband when we overheard two women talking in a store. One asked the other if she saw that girl who looks “retarded”, as she made an obscene gesture bringing her hands to her chest. I was so angry with her.
I admit, I often found myself using retarded, or the “R-Word“, before my son was diagnosed with Down Syndrome over a year ago. I used it to describe a lot of situations and I didn’t think twice about it. Knowing what I do today, I am hear to tell you just how offensive that word is to my son, and everyone else with an intellectual disability.
The word retarded is HATEFUL, OFFENSIVE, and SPREADS HURT
Those women knew nothing about the person they were talking about. They judged her by the way she looked, how she sounded and acted, and what they learned from TV. Too many people are taught to use the word retarded as a form of insult, a dig at someones intelligence and “normalcy”.
All of this made me realize that someone might try to use that word to describe MY son one day. I found myself sitting there wondering, “How can we ever expect our children not to use the word, if they are hearing us use it ourselves?” I realize now that I should have stood up and said something when I heard them degrading that innocent woman. I was so upset that I couldn’t get out a single word or string together my thoughts. Part of me also thought I would end up in handcuffs if i got started, and we all know that would definitely not set a good example to our children.
“One woman asked the other if she happened to see that girl who looked , “retarded” , as she made an obscene gesture, bringing her hands to her chest.”
Here are three ways I taught my daughter and want to share with you:1. Try asking them to think of other words they can use instead.2. Ask them if they know the definition of the word. Most of the time people don’t, because if they did, I can assure you they wouldn’t be blurting it out left and right.3. Explain why the word is so hurtful towards people with intellectual disabilities and really put it into perspective as to why it’s unacceptable to use.
So the next time you are thinking about using the “R-Word” to describe your friend’s outfit or the funny face they made, I want you to remember..it’s offending my son, and every other person with an intellectual disability in the process.
