Tandem Breastfeeding in Today’s Society

Tandem Breastfeeding in Today’s Society

August 27, 2015: My son is 13 months old, we are visiting my family in DC and attended MommyCon. I have this weird feeling that I need to take a pregnancy test, mostly to calm my nerves but a part of me really wants a second child. To my surprise and shock those two little pink lines show up almost instantly. No wonder I was aching to hold all the babies at MommyCon. No wonder I could barely eat anything that week. So much for happy hour (finally bonding) with my little sister. So much for breastfeeding my son until he turns 2, right? Wrong, my tandem breastfeeding journey starts that day.

Little Pink Lines

In the beginning of my pregnancy I can sense a shift in our breastfeeding relationship. Pain, discomfort, anger replacing feelings of love and bonding. I came to dread every night feeding at first since he still wanted “nilk” all night. I love him so much but these feelings made me want him far from me. Heartbroken I know that our solo breastfeeding journey is over and a new form of bonding must begin. This is where daddy jumps in sacrificing precious sleep to help wean our son and move him into his own room all at once. I wept every night those first few weeks because I lost our breastfeeding and bedsharing journey all in one night.

MommyCon DC 2015

6 Months Later:

My son is mostly weaned, he sleeps through the night in his own room 5 out of 7 nights a week, and my husband is back in our bed. To be honest at 6/7 months pregnant I was not happy to have to share my bed again! However, this transition was good for our whole family. My son learned independence, I learned to let go some, and we were able to bond without breastfeeding. (I had awful postpartum depression with him…but that’s another blog post). My family rejoiced that I was no longer breast feeding my toddler, saying “if he can ask for it he’s too old,” and “he’s trying to take your boob out, that’s gross, you don’t need that little man.” Again, heartbroken I tried to hide my tears while also enjoying the new life that was growing inside of me.

So how did it turn into tandem breastfeeding?

Fast forward to April 27, 2016: Our daughter is born! She latched on fairly well….well we have had some struggles. You see, my son is tongue tied so I figure if I can get through the pain of breastfeeding him the first 3 months I can get through anything! Not so, my daughter cries so much more than my son did as a newborn. Oh but that’s all normal right? Wrong! When we try and nurse she cries, getting so upset she pulls away from the breast. Again I am heartbroken because I finally had a baby who could use her tongue fully so I expected unicorns and sunshine. During all of this tension my almost 2 year old decides he needs his “nilk”. As I navigate one baby who I can’t seem to get happy I have another who now wants to fight his sister for the breast. Oh, and he is in our bed every night/morning at 4am. To say that I am stressed is an understatement.

Stealing Nilk

On the other hand I always wanted to tandem breastfeed my children if they were close in age. In my opinion the best way to raise a child is to slowly transition them through the phases of life rather than just throwing them into the next one. This is where tandem breastfeeding became my source of comfort and a sense of “getting back on the plan”. The feelings of dread that I had while pregnant has subsided with the birth of our daughter. In fact, I have little to no postpartum issue as compared to my son’s birth. Now 3 months postpartum we have finally found our rhythm, my baby girl has stopped crying all the time and is nursing successfully thanks to Christie at Breastfeed Atlanta.

Now what?

For our family tandem breastfeeding allows our now 2 year old to understand that his sister is not replacing him. I can tell that he is still a little jealous of his sister’s “nilk” but he finds joy helping her nurse when it isn’t his turn. When he does get to nurse he gazes into his sisters eyes which completely melts me inside. Of course, I still

My New Normal

hear the comments of “why is he asking for milk again, isn’t he weaned?”  Sometimes the comments are directed to my son, “you are too old for that leave mommy alone.” To which I simply shake my head. He is my first baby and he knows that he is still loved. I can feel the love flowing between us all and I don’t care what anyone says about it I know it’s the right choice for my family.

Join me at The Big Latch On Marietta this weekend August 6, 2016 from 9:30am-12:30pm to learn more about tandem breastfeeding, donor milk, and more!

“You are special, You are loved, You matter, You are BEAUTIFUL”